Saturday, July 8, 2017

The Wasteland of Gath: The Tin Shack (Righteous Rude); Labyrinth Lord

After scouting the tin shack and getting an idea of who was within, Righteous Rude (played by +Brutorz Bill) stepped forward to issue a challenge. He called upon the twisted, mutant cannibals within to present themselves for judgement. He did so under the shadow of a nearby billboard featuring a waifish, ethereal looking young woman. Beneath her photo text read, "Everything's Going To Be Okay in 15 miles." That may be true, but everything was NOT going to be okay for the freaks in the shack.

The mutants approach!
     It didn't take long for something to happen. Emerging from the hut was a frightening mutant. From the chest of a large man grew a small, baby-like creature, as if two twins were fused in the womb, but only one grew to adulthood. In this case, the baby contained the intellect, while the man it was conjoined with was a puppet. The baby-man howled and gibbered, "Why did you scare my boy!? Get on down the road before something bad happens to you!"

     Righteous Rude ignored the wasteland mutants gibbering and presented the charges against the man. As this occurred, a young female mutant with a tragic cleft lip emerged from the doorway. In her hands was a pristine doll who bore the likeness of the young woman on the billboard. When the girl spoke to the doll, "Pwease pwotect me Pawppy," she was covered momentarily in a lavender glow. Later, she would be rescued by the pair when it was revealed she had been kidnapped by the mutants. While her cleft clip might cause her to look like a mutant, she is not.
The Poppy Doll

     In short order the large mutant rushed out. Kerg unleashed a crossbow bolt that tore into the man-baby. The warped combo doubled over as Righteous Rude hurled a rock from his sling. The rock finished the job by exploding the infantile head that controlled the large man. As David slew the giant of Gath in the Old Testament, so did Rude vanquish a mutant patriarch of the Wasteland.

    Lem the cannibal, who had been feeding the fleshlings, lost his mind after he watched his father die. He rushed out and began beating Kerg without mercy. Kerg went into his turtle pose as he often does. As Lem punched at Kerg, Righteous Rude stepped up from behind and laid him low with a mighty blow from his warhammer.

     Inside the shack mama was found on a bed, her under-developed appendages flapping wildly. She fussed, fumed and spat. Again, Righteous Rude condemned her for her crimes against humanity and the down came the hammer of judgement!

     The house was a disgusting mess with a toilet overflowing with the kind of foul waste one might expect from mutants who ate other mutants. Still, there was one fascinating development. Near the house a hatch in the ground was unearthed. It was assumed that the hatch would open to a tunnel to some underground complex.

     Before descending into the shaft, Rude and Kerg met an interesting pair who were rolling by in a wagon The first fellow was wearing a blue turtleneck and dirty coveralls. He introduced himself as "Turtleneck Joe." The wagon itself was large, packed with trade goods and was being pulled by a massive, six-legged, shaggy load-beast. Also present was a well armed and armored warrior named Bedlowe. After introductions were made, Turtleneck Joe revealed that he was going to convert the bus from a previous encounter into a trading post. Rude liked the idea and decided to travel with the pair for a bit to recover.

 XP for Rowan: 15 for ma and baby-man mutants + 1,000 from ring = 1,015 xp

Treasure: Ring of Protection +1 (a gift from Kerg)

Brother Rude's Melee Stats 
No. of Attacks: 6
Hits: 6
Hit Percentage: 100%
Damage Inflicted: 2, 6, 3, 4, 4, 1
Average Damage per Hit: 3.33
Kills: 5
Average Kills per Hit: .83
Initiative Rolls: 5
Result(s): 3, 6, 5. 6. 5
Average Initiative Roll: 5
Turn Attempts: 1
Successful Turn Attempts: 1
Turn Attempt Success Rate: 100%
Spells Cast: 1(Cure Light Wounds)
Damage Sustained: 4


  1. I had a great time! My dice were definitely blessed by The Metal Gods tonite! Thanks again for running!!

    1. Those dice handed out a most holy beatdown! Thanks so much for playing. :)

  2. Melee stats! So American, like baseball stats! Cool.

    1. Thank you! I'm a big baseball fan so it seemed appropriate. :)