Legends of Gath #67; He Died Two Weeks Before His Coronation But Nobody Told Him

Wear a helmet while cycling in Gath and perhaps training wheels, too. 

Legends of Gath #66; Vaxx or Die

Destination unknown is vaccinated. Anything beyond that just leaves me, the skellie boyz, the slobbering godless mutants and Turtleneck Joe squinting in confusion. 

Legends of Gath #64; T is for Traitor

Legends of Gath #63; The Mutant's Gambit

 I really enjoyed the Queen's Gambit from Netflix. I thought I'd pay homage with this instalment, as well as upcycle an NPC from the days when I played this campaign online. Happy New Year, gamestas. 

Legends of Gath #62; Teenage Wasteland

Gath continues to circle the drain...

Legends of Gath #61; 64 Squares of Fury

 It's not all bad in Gath. It's mostly bad. But not all bad.

Legends of Gath #60: Steal The Election Fair and Square

 This day, man. Dear God what a nail biter. 

Legends of Gath #59: Election Night in Gath

 Well, here we are. Good luck out there, everyone. Businesses are being boarded up here in Los Angeles as we brace for turmoil. Let's all hope and pray people can remain calm regardless of the electoral outcome. 

     If you ever want to play through some of these scenarios, I suggest the following kind of character built off the usual retroclone idea:

Wasteland Explorer

Alignment: Lawful or Neutral

Armor Class 13 (leather jacket +2, Dex bonus +1)

Hit Dice 2

Hit Points 14 (Con bonus of +1 per hit die)

Move 30' (5 squares per round, 10 if running)

Save as: Fighter level 2

Attacks as: Fighter level 2 

     Machete: +2 to hit (strength bonus), 1d6+2 to damage

     9mm pistol: +1 to hit (Dex bonus), RoF 3, 1d6 damage, 12 rounds currently in magazine

Gear: Backpack with 1 gallon purified water, rations for 5 days, knife (1d4 damage), sleeping bag, razor, toothbrush, first aid kit (heals 1d4 points of damage)

Special Abilities: Cut Down the Vermin Like Wheat: If a foe is killed with a melee attack, you get a free attack on another foe provided he is in a square adjacent to the enemy just slain. 

Legends of Gath #58; The Return of the Queen

Fear not! Poppy has come to save Gath and to save us all. In the earliest iteration of Gath, Poppy was the only comprehensible form that the Angel of the Lord could assume. All other forms visible to humans caused mass death, mutation and frothing anger. It's better this way.

     Any of you doubters should take note of the fact that Poppy predicted this whole mess exactly three years before the shelter in place order came down in So. Cal. Scoreboard!

Legends of Gath #56; About That Life

Huh, I kind of forgot to draw the bathroom wall so it looks like the door is just suspended in space. Weird. 

     Burying King Saul's head might be a nice touch. Then again, he was forsaken by God so it gets complicated theology-wise. 

     After my head and hands melt from digesting jazz theory at the piano, I sometimes listen to "About That Life." It's simultaneously the best and worst thing I have ever seen. No apologies are made by that band. They know what they are and they revel in a chaotic realm of booze and implants. I'm not judging. It's glorious in its absurdity. The denizens of Gath love it. 

Legends of Gath #55; Governor Gathmer

Life in the Gath-pocalypse continues to get weirder and more intense. I draw these absurd vignettes because it's all too much to comprehend. Best wishes to Gov. Whitmer and her family. She seems like an articulate, brave person. I'm glad her would-be assailants were so incompetent. 

Legends of Gath #54; Irritable Bowel Mutants

Legends of Gath #53; The king is dead! Long live the king!

I totes suggest running away from The Last King of Gath. That energy drain will get ya. Maybe Turtleneck Joe can load some silver tipped rounds for your rifle? That'd even things up, I think. Huh. Now I gotta figure out where the silver is going to come from. 

Legends of Gath #52: Lights Out, Knives Out

It was pushing 120 on Sunday when the power went out. Within 10 minutes the sirens started roaring around town. Not gonna lie. I was totes jelly of my neighbor's generator. That thing mocked me for two blistering days. Oh well.

Legends of Gath #51; One Got Wasted and the Other's a Waste

When I was 17 in the summer of 1988 I surfed all day, played D&D all night and was so happy to be alive in sunny San Diego. And now we have...this.

     Not sure about that jar of pickles. The hockey stick does 2d3 against skeletons.

     Speaking of playing, I want to start running Gathisodes on Roll20. No fantasy infused classes this time, just straight up human explorers with a machete and a 9mm with a few rounds in the mag. Very straightforward. 

     We will use White Box and it's various clones as a rule system. No PC death, by the way. You just get KOd and mugged if knocked to 0 hp. The scars you collect will tell a story. I will post some details next time, but these will be short, 30 minute sessions just to scratch the itch. Holler if interested.

Legends of Gath #50; Hey, baldy!

I'm glad installment 50 landed on one of my all time favorite verses. It's just so...odd. And oddly specific. Why two bears? (In one translation it's she bears.) Why 42 mauling victims? Baldy? As with many stories from La Biblia, it's likely not to be taken by the reader literally, but it does make me laugh at face value. In the Old Testament you ever knew when some salty prophet was going to order bears or lions to maul you. It kept the people on their toes, I guess. 

Legends of Gath #49; Jezebel's Choking Hands

 

On Friday nights we have virtual Shabbat. The organizer was asking for people to speak at upcoming meetings. I was thinking about doing readings from the Book of Gath. Light the candles, sip the sparkling cider, eat the hallah and delight in the wonders of Gath. Perfect.

Legends of Gath #47; School's Out for Summer, School's Out Forever!

Just to clarify, anyone who died during the apocalypse was barred from the afterlife and condemned to a never ending undeath - first as a zombie then rotting away until the animated skeleton remained. 

     Anyone who survived the apocalypse was cursed to a life of mutation and disease - the gibbering mutants. The skeletons and mutants live in parallel worlds. The mutants are effectively invisible to the skeletons because they are evil. On the other side, the mutants tend to give the skellies a wide birth because they are kind of scary. 

     Any pure strain humans encountered have wandered into Gath from lands not cursed by God. Most of these humans are neutral to lawful good, but there are some foul sorts looking for plunder and wickedness.

     The humans who fled Gath and are now living on the oribital colonies are a whole other deal. 

     Also on the subject of undead, there are occasional shadows, mummies and ghouls encountered in locked bunkers.

     At least I think that's how it works. It almost doesn't matter, really. 

     It is important to note that over at Save Vs. Poison DM Wieg wrote up a great Skellie Boy class perfect for the skeleton who is self aware and wants to take salvation into his own bony hands. > LINK <

Legends of Gath #46; Mutants A-Go-Go

If you haven't been stabbed with a broken beer bottle in a filthy men's room in a Gath dive bar, have you ever really lived?

Legends of Gath #45; Burnt Offerings

I think the postman was smashed on that flask of vodka, then crashed into a wall. His skeletal remains probably shambled off into the desert wastes. Hopefully your mail-in ballot does not end up as campfire fuel.