Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Iron Rations Part V

Love found Abel Artone at the abandoned watchtower. The timing couldn’t have been better, given the abuse the human had endured at the hands of an ogre, and later, a surly dwarf. The young man was due for a change in his luck and it came in the form of a short, plump Magic User named Apris the Wondrous.

     Never an attentive student, Apris had been expelled from her master’s tower before completing her studies. Alone and with few prospects, Apris traveled to the Borderlands in the hope of finding employment. (Without a recommendation from her master, Apris would have a hard time finding work with established trade houses, or with a noble family.)

     En route, Apris became lost after wandering off the road during a heavy fog. After hours of stumbling about in the dark, she eventually arrived at a crumbling tower. Finding it empty, save for some moldering furniture on the second floor, Apris fell into a deep sleep. Early the next morning, Apris awoke to quite a clamor. From what she could tell, something was trying to make its way up the narrow, wooden stairs from the first floor.

     Terrified, Apris peered around the corner to find not one, but two, ravenous ogres trying to navigate the rickety flight of stairs. Fortunately, the decayed wood and narrow confines of the stairwell prevented the ogres from ascending. Nevertheless, Apris was scared out of her wits. She let fly with a Magic Missile, then promptly hid under the bed, quivering with fear.

     The two ogres, Willum and Bert, were intent upon devouring the young human. Apris’ scent was intoxicating and they just knew that her sizzling fat would taste delicious with fresh-baked biscuits. Unable to scale the stairs, the ogres simply decided to wait her out. Eventually the human would get hungry and would have to make an escape attempt. When that happened, the ogres would smash her skull and put her on a spit. Until then, the brothers took turns at guard duty. One would scout the nearby road, hoping to waylay a lone traveler, while the other watched the stairs.

     For her part, Apris waited until nightfall then tried to signal anyone within sight of the tower. She achieved this by casting Light upon a stone, holding it out the window of the tower, then opening and closing her hand to create a flashing beacon.

     After a few days of this, Abel, Devon and Aithne saw the signal and approached the tower to investigate. Within, the trio met and defeated the remaining ogre brother. (The party had slain the other prior to encountering Balnor the dwarf.) Liberated, Apris took an immediate liking to the brooding human. She saw limitless potential within Abel, although she cared little for the sneering Aithne and the scrawny Devon. As Apris and Abel fell deeply in lust, Devon could only look on in fascination and Aithne in disgust.

     “Uh, Aithne, why do Abel and Apris keep making that awful slurping sound?”

     “Because, Devon, they are humans and as everyone knows, a human can barely contain its urge to disrobe and rut in the middle of the road. Best look away before you have nightmares.”

     The accompanying tower map might prove useful in your own campaign. Below is Apris’ stat block. Perhaps we’ll see more of the trio (now a quartet) in future installments.

Apris the Wondrous, Level 2 Magic User; Alignment: Neutral, AC 10 (robes); Hit Dice 2 (d4); Hit Points 6; Attacks: dagger (1d4); Move: 120’;  Languages: Common, Elvish; 

Abilities: Str 8 (-1 to hit and damage), Int 13 (1 additional language), Wis 9, Dex 10, Con 9, Ch 13 (+1 bonus to reactions);

Spells: Light, Magic Missile;

Special Abilities: Magic User spells;

Possessions: Spellbook, 6 gp.


  1. I agree with Bard in the previous post. Fun stuff!

  2. Iron Rations is very entertaining! Each post is short and sweet, just the way I like 'em! ;-) Hope to see much more!